The rules of Quiet Time

B's guidelines for quiet time when going to bed.

1. Do not talk............ about quiet time.
2. Talk to the nearest adult. 
3. See rule #1.
4. If no adult is near talk to the nearest toy.
5. If no toy is near talk to your newest, bestest cartoon friend, who is now sitting beside you. 
6. If adults enter the room and requests that you be quiet, continue to talk in a whisper. 
7. See rule #1. 
8. Shout that you have to pee. 
9. If no adult responds to #8, shout that you have to poo. 
10. Once in the bathroom insist that you must take off all your clothes in order to poo so that you do not get your shirt/pants/socks wet. 
11. Once on the toilet make sure that you scream as loud and as much as possible. 
12. On the toilet request your favorite electronic toy (Nook, DS, iPod).
13. Be sure to unroll the nearest roll of toilet paper. 
14. Do not... I repeat DO NOT poop. 
15. When the adults return you to your bed and insist that it is now quiet time, tell them you are hungry. 
16. After adults have left make sure that you shout you are hungry as loud as possible. 
17. After 10 seconds, when adults haven't returned with your night-night snack begin to panic and claim that you are starving. 
18. Quietly say that you are wery wery hungry. 
19. Provide loud applause for the adult who finally delivers your snack. 
20. Quickly cross your arms, frown, and say that you are mad when you are presented with your snack. 
21. Say you want a different snack. 
22. See rule #1... in case adult brings it up.
23. Eat first snack.
24. Ask for TV time.
25. Repeat #24 until the tv is turned on. 
26. Ask for 55 minutes on the timer.
27. Quietly watch tv.
28. When the tv turns off shout that you need more time.
29. Continue to shout until a very tired adult enters the room.
30. When adult suggest that it is quiet time and asks if you would like some music, insist on tv.
31. Wear adult down with hugs and smooches until they inevitable cave to your will.
32. Smile when you see the adult reach for the tv.... if appropriate say "Yay!" to make sure that the adult knows that you know you have won.
33. Repeat steps #26-#32 two more times.
34. When one adult enters and goes straight to the music with no option of tv, request the other adult. 
35. When the second adult enters inform them that you are mad at the first adult and that you need tv. 
36. Hug the closest adult. 
37. See rule #1.
38. While hugging closest adult make sure that you stand up and throw yourself at them so that they have to hold you. 
39. Refuse to be put back in bed. 
40. Insist on rocking.
41. After a few minutes insist that rocking is for babies and request that it stop.
42. In case you are too comfortable... squirm.
43. Squirm some more just for fun.
44. Laugh.
45. When you hear the adult sigh loudly, know that you are close to victory.
46. Point to the other room and say, "Big bed."
47. In case there is any question say, "I'm tired, sleep in mommy and daddy bed."
48. When adult asks if you would like music or even tv say, "NO! Big bed."
49. Sob quietly.
50. When adult begins to take you to the other room, make sure that they get your pillow. 
51. Whichever pillow they get say that you want the other. 
52. When they are almost out of the room with you and your pillow say that you need your blanky.
53. Make them select at least three before you tell them that it's the right blanky.
54. Once you are in bed with the adults make sure to whisper to each of them.
55. Be quiet for a few minutes, when the adults are quiet and have settled down and think you maybe asleep, reach over and grab their head. Put them in a headlock. Tell them you are hugging them. 
56. Find something amusing in the dark and laugh.
57. Insist that the adults laugh.
58. If you see an adult take a drink of anything, make sure that you get a drink as well. 
59. By now it should be at least 11:00 PM.
60. When the adults are on the verge of losing their shit, peacefully fall asleep and look as cute as possible.

Optional activities for throughout the night. 

Turn sideways so that you are perpendicular to the adults. Try to make the letter H with your bodies. 

With eyes closed, blindly swing your arms in the direction you think the adults faces are.

Lift up both legs and then bring them down as quickly and with as much force as possible.

Pee through your pull-up if possible.

Push an adult out of bed if you can.

Be sure to wake up as early as possible if you do not hear any alarms going off. 

If alarms are going off be crabby and try to sleep as long as you can.